Work/Life Trends
Fathers/Partners Play Crucial Role in Successful Breastfeeding Experience
By Carol Ann Friedman, RN, IBCLC, and Program Director of Mothers at Work^®

As a registered nurse and a long-time lactation consultant, I have spoken with literally hundreds of women about the essential “ingredients” of a successful breastfeeding experience. One answer—given by almost all of them—that might surprise you: having a sensitive and supportive partner. Breastfeeding is so uniquely personal to mother and child that we often overlook the importance of support from fathers and partners.

Basically, fathers/partners have two key roles when a baby arrives: 1) to care for the mother (most importantly, to feed her so that she can feed the baby) and 2) to share baby care and childcare if there are other children in the house. Helping to care for the baby—bathing, changing and consoling the infant—is especially important early on, when a mother’s attention is focused on the needs of her new baby. It’s easy for a father/partner to feel left out or pushed aside at this time. Getting actively involved in baby’s care helps to diminish these feelings. It also helps when fathers/partners understand that the deep mother-newborn connection is partly the result of physiological “programming.” In time, the woman will be able to give greater attention to her spouse/partner and her other children again.

Like many other life experiences, caring for mother and baby will bring moments of great joy and true anxiety to fathers/partners. Both of these feelings are completely normal. Here are a few tips that will help fathers/partners make breastfeeding the most positive experience possible for mother, baby and themselves:

1. Encourage your wife/partner to breastfeed.
2. Be her strongest ally. A woman’s ability to produce milk is strongly influenced by her emotional state; the calmer and more relaxed mother is, the better able she is to produce milk. Let her know that you are happy with and support her choice to breastfeed. And let everyone else know that you stand behind her decision.
3. Clean for her! Knowing that the house is relatively clean and organized (not perfect) and that all of the day-to-day chores are taken care of can reduce potential stress and concern.
4. Serve her with a smile. Make sure she gets plenty of nutritious meals, snacks and enough fluids. Remember, breastfeeding puts significant demands on her physically.
5. Wear your baby proudly! Carry your baby in one of the wearable carriers or pouches so that she or he will get used to the rhythms of your breathing and walking and your voice.
6. The Warm Fuzzy: Place your baby on your bare chest with his/her ear over your heart. The rhythm of your heartbeat and your breathing will put your baby to sleep.

I’ve often written about the benefits of breastfeeding to mother and baby, but it also has some practical benefits for fathers, too. No formula to buy means reduced expenses and fewer trips to the store. It also means there’s less to carry (no bottles or cans of formula) when the family goes out. And regurgitated breast milk doesn’t stain. (Okay, that might not sound like much of a benefit … but believe me, it is!)

So, fathers and partners, remember—when it comes to breastfeeding, you may only play a supporting role but, if you play it well, you’ll be a star to mother and baby.